Living with CKD

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Today's Doctor Appointment

I'll get right to the point. The neph wanted to put me in the hospital to start dialysis this Monday - as in the 12th of January. I told him I was busy for the next 2 weekends so he agreed to wait until the 19th. Luckily, my parents were already planning a trip to visit me that weekend. My mom will stay an extra week to help with Alek while I get settled. The doctor told me to stop working and take a vacation. I sooo wish I could do that! I feel like garbage and the thought of being able to sleep all day sounds so YUMMY :) So, yes, for some reason I feel in shock. I knew this was coming. I had a pretty good idea it would be NOW. So, why do I feel like this?

So Tired

I don't feel so great today. I ate lunch *and* dinner yesterday and then a snack before bed. I overloaded on the food and today I just feel... ick. Headache, stomach ache and very, very tired. I wish I could go back to bed... unfortunately, I have a lot of work to get done today! Must... continue... working... and... not... fall... asleep... Zzzz zzz zzzzzzzzz I had blood drawn this morning in prep for tomorrow's neph appointment. We'll see what it has to say.



I don't know why, but I feel that in the next few months new opportunities are going to open up for me. I'm scared about a lot of things - starting dialysis and being able to pay my bills (i.e. not working for awhile) and the change in lifestyle it will bring. I'm hopeful that something good will come out of it. If I can't work full-time, then maybe I'll have a chance to get back to doing some volunteer work. Or maybe I can work from home. Or maybe I'll go back to school (to do what, I'm not sure, but I feel like I *should*.) I know one thing - like the failed attempt at being a "stay-at-home-mother" if I end up sitting around all the time I will go ABSOLUTELY OUT OF MY MIND with boredom. I'm puzzled as to how all this will fit into my 'schedule' - working, taking care of Alek, dialysis, regular household stuff... social life... whats that? I can barely hold it together now, let alone adding useless hours of sitting in a dialysis chair. The minutes tick tick tick tick away and time keeps on a passin' until that moment when the dialysis needle will first hit my vein. I can hear that clock ticking now...

Fistula Names...?!

Fistula name suggestions... suggested: Flo! While that does make complete sense, how would I then refer to my monthly visit from 'AUNT FLO'? :) suggested: Ecthelion Mmmm, I'm not quite sure I get this one. suggested: Borg Part 1 Since I have a FISTULA (my vein attached to my artery) and not a GRAFT (a vein attached to a plastic tube)... I don't think my fistula would qualify as a Borg part. A Borg part would have to be something artificial attached to me, right? I will give you a B+ for creativity... although your research on the topic is somewhere around a C- :P suggested: Al for diALisis Pretty good one, actually. But, I think 'AL' could get mixed up with my son's name 'ALek' :) I mean, my son can sometimes be a blood-sucking monster, but not *that* bad! LOL suggested: -- Ummm... "Fisty"? Or... uh... how about "George"? 'Fisty' sounds like a sex toy (*shrug* dunno where I get that from, but thats what it sounds like to me...) George is nice, though. Or Georgette because I'm a GIRL... suggested: Fistula of Love Um, Joel. It's a big giant vein in my arm... nothing will be 'penetrating' it, other than needles. So, stop thinking of it as an orifice! suggested (in comments): Frankenvein I think this one is winning the race, so far. The one thing I want to know is... why is everyone coming up with MALE names for my FEMALE fistula?! :)

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