I just want to cry...

I'm angry with myself - I keep wondering if I did something wrong to damage my kidney.

I keep second-guessing my decision to have my hoo-hoo-ectomy so soon post-transplant... maybe I should've just learned to live with the bleeding, bloating and pain? My kidney is the priority, I can't help but wonder if I had my priorities in the wrong place.

I have NOT come this far to have my brother's sacrifice and gift ruined. It can't happen this way.

I KNEW something was wrong with my kidney before I even went to LifeLink, but don't ask me how I knew, I just did. I didn't sleep at all night before last because I was dreading my appointment. I even considered canceling it at the last minute.

Of course now I'm glad I went.

I asked Ken to go with me to LifeLink, tomorrow. I'm only going for more bloodwork, but I feel I need him there just in case I have to go back to Tampa General for something else. If I need a kidney biopsy, I hope they schedule it for right away so I won't have to wait to figure things out.

If you're the praying-type, now would be nice.

It's a really good idea to have Ken there for backup, just in case. *hugs*

If your doctors thought your kidney was going to get damaged, they would have made sure you knew it. You really could NOT have foreseen this, and you didn't do anything wrong.

Did you find out for sure if the foley issue caused any of this? (I have to say... post-kidney-transplant patient, and they didn't keep an eye out for urine output? Dumbasses.)

Sending good thoughts your way...

And will certainly keep you in mine.

I sure hope everything will remain ok and that this is your new kidneys sick sense of humour that will be all over with soon. You didn't do anything so don't blame yourself. *hugs*

Kristi,

No matter what happens, what we've been through together has not been in vain and can never be considered that. Going into this we new the risks and accepted them.

Do not worry that somehow my gift to you will be ruined. It _has_ offered almost 8 months of relief (to some extent at least, I hope), already.

My hope is that this is just a bump in the road and things will clear up. I am certainly praying this is the case. I hope you can find comfort in my belief that something good will come to you from this experience.

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